I know, given the choice, I'd much rather thrive than just survive, and from what I hear, so would most anyone -- single moms included! Unless you're a single mom, or you've been one (married moms with husbands who work a lot do not count), it's impossible to understand the stress that goes with the job. I'm a believer, though, in making the best out of every situation. It's possible to be a single mom and thoroughly enjoy the process.
To that end, I've compiled a few great tips for thriving as a single mom:
- Arm yourself with secret weapons. That could be anything that makes life easier (bag of snacks and water stashed in the car) or anyone (another single mom -- current or former -- i.e., someone who gets it, who is willing to be on call and an extra set of hands) or anywhere (Chuck E. Cheese, anyone?).
- Get organized at night, get out the door in the morning. Before you lay down to sleep, lay out your clothes and your kids' clothes. Pack their lunches. Pack your lunch (and some snacks, just in case). Get their school stuff in order and by the door (or in the car). In the morning, it's all about getting out the door without anyone shedding a tear, something in their tummy, on time. That is all.
- The laundry will wait. Wash it, dry it, and leave it in a chair. Or play a game called "let's fold the laundry" together and blindfold yourself with a t-shirt while trying to fold. The operative word is "game" and games are fun! Your kid won't know laundry is supposed to be the most horrible job ever (until you tell them it is)!
- Work when it's time to work, be a mom when it's time to be a mom. Give yourself permission to be fully present in every moment. Do the best you can in those present moments. Enough said.
- Turn off your (cell) phone after 6 p.m. Be with your kids. Be with yourself. Just enjoy those precious moments as much as you can. I consciously don't work a lot of times because I know someday I'll have all the time in the world to work, a no sweet 10-year-old Lexi to snuggle with anymore.
- Only obsess over things you'll remember in a year. If you have to make PB&J every night for dinner until you get over that cold, or use Google to help you kids finish their homework, so be it.
You can thrive, be truly alive, and enjoy each and every day. The choice is yours.
Blessings and light, Honoree
My daughter doesn't care how much money I make (or don't make), what kind of car I drive or how good I look in a pencil skirt, all she wants is quality time. She wants to help me cook, play the Wii, even help me file my receipts. She's an excellent "shipper" ... she puts labels on packages I mail out and stamps on notes I write. All of that in her mind is QT: quality time.
It's so hard working, keeping the house in order, the paper monster under control and let's not mention the dust bunnies (dust rhinos?) that need to be eliminated. All of that can wait, I've discovered, in exchange for the joy I see on my daughter's face when I shine my light on her.
So we've been playing games, reading books together and every day for the past couple of weeks I've taken her to the pool. In our community we have a great pool where the residents gather to eat, socialize and play (let's not forget tanning, there's a lot of tanning going on!). Even with 45 minutes between homework or errands or karate, we run up there just to have a smidgin of fun before it's back to whatever is next.
I know for sure I'm all the better for turning off the computer, the phones, and the TV and just asking her what she wants to do with me. Sometimes it is turn on the computer and play a game, rent a movie and pop popcorn or just read another book in the Nancy Drew series. Take some extra time very soon to shine your light on your kids and watch how happy all of you become. That's what I call a successful single mom in action!
Posted by: belladane in Single Moms, Parenting, myblog, Money, Cash, Moolah, Dinero, Moms, Ideas, Giveaway, Getting Your Groove Back on
Jan 08, 2010
http://www.myriskfreemagazine.com
Hello ladies, just wanted to share with you this site I found! If your anything like me & love reading up on the latest celeb gossip, fashion, or woman's living, then your going to Love Free & Risk Free without paying a cent! I'm a single mom, money is tight so i HAD to share, enjoy ;)
I have a dating dilemma.... and no it's not me. It's my son! Roger, who will be 16 this month, may be going out on his first date this month! ACK! I just don't know what I should or shouldn't do, so I need some sage advice from moms who have been there and done that.
My question really is, do I go with them to the movie or do I just drop them off and pick them up?
Part of me wants to go with my son and his date, to make sure they behave themselves. But another part of me feels like he needs his privacy. I just don't know what the right thing to do here is.
I never really went out on too many dates when I was his age. It was generally a group of friends going places together or hanging out at someone's house. I didn't start actually dating until I was in my early twenties and that's when I met my ex-husband. So this is all new territory for me!
HELP!! What would YOU do? What have YOU done? Any and all suggestions would be greatly appreciated!
Posted by: Honoree in Support, Success, Single Moms, Parenting, Mr. Wonderful, Ideas, Family, Dating, Challenges and Solutions, Boundaries on
Jun 29, 2009
Those were Lexi's words to me a few days ago. I almost fell over! In our house, we use the term "bonus dad" inspired by Will Smith's wife, Jada Pinkett Smith. I've always hated the term "step-mom or -dad." The connotation isn't positive in my mind ~ I guess I watched Cinderella too many times as a kid.
Lexi's biological dad doesn't have contact with her and hasn't for quite some time. Her only true dad figure has been her bonus dad for the past year and a half. When I asked her why she wants to call him dad, she said, "Because I feel like it now." Who knows what's really going on in her mind and heart. While Big B can never replace her "other dad" as she calls him, he has certainly done something right. I'm happy that she's happy and feels safe and loved.
I didn't put any pressure on Lexi, I just let things evolve naturally and let her take the lead. I introduced them when I was pretty sure I knew he would play a significant, long-term role in my life. Kids are pretty quick and intuitive, and mine is no different. She liked him right away and said so. I'm so blessed to have the two people I love the most love each other.
What words of wisdom do you have to your fellow single moms about how to handle this most delicate of situations?