I chatted with you awhile ago about holding out for Mr. Wonderful. There's nothing better than being in relationship with a truly amazing human being that you can't imagine living without.

When coaching the single moms, we talked about our sex lives post-divorce and what we'd learned. I promised I'd share what I'd learned. Maybe you'll find a little helpful nugget here ...

The same woman that taught me to say what I wanted and ask the tough questions taught me about how sex affects a woman. Apparently we're biologically set-up to be "connected" to a man from the time we have sex with him until we have our next period. Theoretically, we could be pregnant, so nature has us so that we don't just move on to the next guy.

That's all fine and great if we've found a solid guy who has our best interests at heart. Not so great if he's a player who could potentially break our heart. Being able to speak up for what you want (and don't want) and asking about his intentions before you hop in the sack can save you some easily avoidable heartache.

Once I gained that clarity, I stopped rushing to add the sexual component to my relationships and was able to sort through the players to get to the good guy. Without even blinking an eye.

Might I also add that I learned to make sure that my potential suitors found me and my body type hot and sexy ... up or down 30 lbs. or more. Its hard to be in a relationship with someone who expects you to look a certain way (i.e., wear make-up all the time ~ yuck), or maintain a certain weight. I like working out as much as the next gal (), but I just can't be overly concerned about having an extra cookie (or 7) now and again.

Coach's suggestion: Get clear about what you want. Get clear about what you don't want. Say it early, before you get attached. Avoid getting attached to the wrong guy by saying and asking. Take your clothes off when you're sure it means something (it doesn't have to mean everything, but it is good if it means something).

While you're doing all this, getting yourself some pretty undies is a great idea (just so you're prepared!).

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