Those were Lexi's words to me a few days ago. I almost fell over! In our house, we use the term "bonus dad" inspired by Will Smith's wife, Jada Pinkett Smith. I've always hated the term "step-mom or -dad." The connotation isn't positive in my mind ~ I guess I watched Cinderella too many times as a kid.

Lexi's biological dad doesn't have contact with her and hasn't for quite some time. Her only true dad figure has been her bonus dad for the past year and a half. When I asked her why she wants to call him dad, she said, "Because I feel like it now." Who knows what's really going on in her mind and heart. While Big B can never replace her "other dad" as she calls him, he has certainly done something right. I'm happy that she's happy and feels safe and loved.

I didn't put any pressure on Lexi, I just let things evolve naturally and let her take the lead. I introduced them when I was pretty sure I knew he would play a significant, long-term role in my life. Kids are pretty quick and intuitive, and mine is no different. She liked him right away and said so. I'm so blessed to have the two people I love the most love each other.

What words of wisdom do you have to your fellow single moms about how to handle this most delicate of situations?

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If you're like me, you have a to-do list a mile long. If you started on it now, you may or may not be able to put a dent in it by sundown. The truth is, days like today (Sunday), if you have them "off from work" you really could give yourself a break from the madness. Sundays for me are sacred. My goal: to do as little as possible.

Here are my suggestions for what you could do today:

 Put your feet up.

Hug and/or spend lots of quality time with your youngsters.

My girl is always up for reading a good book!

 When you take time to relax and recharge, you're more ready for the day-to-day "stuff" as it comes your way. Give yourself permission to sit down, relax, and enjoy. (If you need someone else's permission, you've got it. I'll even write you a note.)

Happy Sunday!

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I became a single mom when my daughter was just a smidge over 3 years old. For the longest time, I was the only single mom of all the moms at her school, swim class, karate class, and dance class. I was the only single mom at my Rotary Club, at Galas, parties and even the kid's section at Borders. ["What does your husband do?" "Actually, I'm no longer married." "Oh."]

Recently I had a conversation with my Hair Guy. He said, "I bet its nice to be married. Now all those women can relax!" I asked what he meant ... he said, "Well, I know for a fact many a woman thought you (and other single moms) just wanted to land another man, their man."

Mental picture for you: steam coming out of my ears! My thought: ummmm, nooooooooo. Not even close.

To all the married moms out there, us single mamas don't want your husband! Here's why: we've had a man, so we know he's like (not implying he's all bad, but nobody's perfect!), he has children (children = laundry, attention, work), and you'd be his ex and we don't need more stress. I could just not picture my new man's ex being a parent in my kid's classroom. Oy!

Truth is, we're just gettin' through the day. Most of us are not having sex, dating or thinking of dating because we don't even have the time to pee (and if we do, there's generally company). We want an extra hour of sleep, a homecooked meal not cooked by us, for our kids to play together at your house so we can (a) work, (b) sleep, (c) catch up on our errands and to do list or (d) flee the country, and a great girlfriend who will listen to us celebrate, complain and process. We look at you and hope you don't become one of us because its hard to be a single mom! (Note: if your husband works/travels a lot, you are not "like" a single mom. You're just not.)

To all you married dads, nothing is sexier than a man who loves his wife and talks about how great she is and how much he loves her. If you are married, don't hit on us. We don't like it.

If you happen to know a really fabulous single guy who's not married (and meets the rest of our criteria for a mate), harass us until we go out with them (hint: that's how I met my new husband). We'll appreciate it for life!

Relax, we're super cool chicks who just happen to be single moms. We're really efficient, willing to help and ready for fun (when there's childcare). We might just be your next BFF.

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