I just discovered your website and love it! But I have to tell you, the challenge I'm having right now this very moment is not puling my hair out after reading the post above about a married woman who is "single mommin' it." I have been a single mother for 19 years - yes, that's NINETEEN YEARS. I fully realize that married women have issues of their own but it drives me nuts when married woman call themselves a single mom because a) their husband doesn't do enough stuff around the house, OR b) their husband is out of town (usually briefly). Guess what, married women? We REAL single moms do not have anyone else to pitch in with child care, housework, or another income. And there is no man coming back from a trip at the end of the day/week/month. We also do not have a man around to blame, resent, argue with, take abuse from, pick up after, etc, etc, etc.

have a fun day,i read your article,it gave me some useful information.since the 2010 world cup coming up,i hope you enjoy the games.Fantastic post,i will

bookmark it and come back to concern your other post.

have a fun day,i read your article,it gave me some useful information.since the 2010 world cup coming up,i hope you enjoy the games.Fantastic post,i will

bookmark it and come back to concern your other post.

I realize this post is dated but I felt it would be good for me to post what was on my mind after reading around in your blog as I don't talk about this challenge much. I am married, have had a sweeeeeeet daughter for 18 months now and have come to realize that we married Moms are often "single mommin' it" a lot of the time. My husband works full time and then works nearly all weekend too, he is a GOOD man and I am thankful for him; however, he does not contribute to the care of our child much at all. I have said so many times "I feel like a single mom". So that is my challenge, coming around to accepting that fact..that I am a full-time wife, mom, homemaker, business-owner....and I do it nearly all on my own! Your website is such a great support and I will be looking into your book =)

Six months after I gave birth to our first child together (he had one from a previous marriage), I found out that my husband, the love of my life, was cheating on me.

To make matters worse, it had been going on since at least six weeks after our son's birth. I had a c-section, and was still recovering at that point.

I decided to try and stick it out for our family. We went to couple's counseling, a marriage class, and went to church every Sunday.

I never got the feeling that he was really sorry about it though. And the ups and downs in our relationship were constant. The therapist I began seeing on my own helped me to discover that there was a cycle happening and that I needed to break it.

But I kept trying to make the relationship work. I didn't think I could do it (single motherhood) alone. I thought about the financial difficulties, the title "divorced," time constraints, and wondered if I could trust him to take care of our small son. Would he be a good role model without me looking over his shoulder? I didn't want to risk it.

Unfortunately, I never felt confident that he would change. His "remorse" seemed insincere. But he would always wrap me back around his finger with flowers and love letters.

I went away for a work conference and returned to a house filled with rose petals and candles. A bath was drawn and a sweet card was filled with his love for me.

The following day, he called me at work to accuse me of cheating on him at the conference. He even called my manager to ask him why we were talking so late (the conference was in Vegas).

As soon as he said that, I realized that it was either him or my sanity. I told him immediately that I wanted a divorce.

Although I'm still going through a tough time with the divorce process, I made the decision to take care of myself so I could be mentally healthy for my son.

It was a long overdue decision. Now that it's just me and the little one at home, I know that it was a great decision. No more disappointment, no more tension, and I can finally concentrate on what's important - my son.

Challenge? Wow, I think we've all walked thru some challenges. Which one would I start with? Do I start with the death of my mom? or the fact that my dad remarried 6 times? Do I start with being molested? or being physical beaten, malnourished, and forced to steal? Is it worse to be a homeless teen mom or to have a baby's daddy that didn't help you change it? I say all those things to say---overcoming I have done----those things do not define. The power of God in my life has made all the difference. He's bigger than any baby's daddy drama, abuse, or financial despair that you may go through. I am living proof. And I want to stress that I'm NOT talking about religion, where you go to church on Sundays, because you know its a good thing...........but rather RELATIONSHIP with the one living God who can give you that peace we so desperately desire.

(I'd love to have a book to give away to the girls in our single moms ministry here in Louisiana--have about 200 girls).

Hey Honoree - (boy, it's late) Picked up your post for this on Twitter tonight, so here I am!

Well, luckily for me I do not have challenges with my son's father, per se, because I was technically a single mom from the start, since his father decided not to be part of this amazing journey.

Latest challenge: not feeling incredibly selfish about my time! For example, I feel that every moment that my son is sleeping is "me time." It's the only me time I get, unless it's paid for - daycare or babysitting. Some days, particularly those days when my son doesn't take a nap, can be especially hard for me.

I use the me time to work. I work from home for myself, so I don't get to spend the time doing yoga or bathing or reading. I'm usually on the computer! So the time is particularly important to me.

When I don't get it, I can become a very mean mommy!

The way I've learned to deal with it is to shut my laptop, so I won't be reminded of other things I could be doing, and to embrace my son and remember that kids don't always take naps just because you want them to.

I won't say that I have come through this challenge with flying colors, though. I have just come through. I have learned two things: (1) you don't get to do what you want all of the time and (2) you don't have to freak out when things don't go your way.

Most of all, I've learned that an hour to myself, to get something done, might help out a little bit. But an extra hour with my son, tickling him or having him help me out by "sweeping" the floor (as he just brushes the dirt around) is incredible, long-lasting, and the entire point of all of this anyway.

Ok iso I was reading your post and my story is actually from a month ago. My kids father was never very good with money but as usual he forgot to pay his child support from his last marriage! Well on january 15th police officers came to my house looking for paul, I was so scared because I knew he would be gone for about 6 months just like last time. But what made it worst was I was behind on my rent and bills because I had just lost my job. I took acouple of deep breaths and started a long hard journey of truly being a single mother with no help at all around me, but I know everything will be okay because me and my boys are already doing better even without paul around to help when he could. I have a great job at a nursing home down the street from my house and the boys have a great babysitter dirt cheap! I am still trying to become a stay at home mom and soon will be starting up school for medical billing.

Hi, Honoree. I saw your post on FB. I'd like to read your book.

After the difficult split from my ex, he kind of left me and my two kids hanging. We didn't have a place to move to, and my hours at work were really long with a long commute. I couldn't imagine things getting any worse. It was terrifying, and not one thing could change or we'd all fall into uncertainty. I wasn't getting consisent child support yet, and couldn't afford the days off to pursue it.

Then I got laid off. I was in such shock, rather than hit the ground running, I just thought I couldn't do what I was doing anymore. I waited a bit, and managed to get by okay, and then in a total fluke circumstance, my perfect work found me. It was literally like, how they ask you what you would do if you didn't have to worry about money- the answer for me was something I never dreamed would work as a career. But it did, and it does.

While things are still difficult (ongoing divorce, financial fallout) if you'd have asked me what would happen if I lost my job, I would have been terrified. I'd never have believed it could actually work out, and my kids wouldn't starve, and getting laid off in this economy didn't necessarily mean a worse job with worse pay if I were lucky.