I met a fellow single mom for coffee yesterday. Her four-year-old child acts out after visits with her dad, wants mom to have dad's rules (no bedtime, eat anything and everything ... I guess that would be dad's lack of rules), and throws temper tantrums with increasing frequency. I shared with her one of my secrets to single (and married) parenting sanity: our child-and-family therapist.

For the record, I was completely resistant to therapy when it was first suggested to me. What? My child? No, of course she's fine. She's well-adjusted, happy and even benefiting from me spending time with just her. In truth, she's angry about the divorce - is now and has been for quite some time ~ pretty much ever since she discovered other kids had (their biological) dads that were active in their lives and school and she didn't. Oy. What's a mother to do?

Therapy offers your child a place to discuss their feelings without fear of judgment (of course you don't like your ex and your kid knows it - so they're not probably not going to feel like they can be truly honest with you about how they feel). It offers a safe place to complain about you. The best part is they have a trained professional to help them see the situation as it truly is, without the raised emotions or back story. Our fabulous therapist tells it like it is, gives age-appropriate tools and suggestions, and really helps Lexi find her voice and process her emotions.

I'm not suggesting therapy is right for every child, but I've found our therapist has been invaluable as a tremendous resource for clarity, tools and ideas, most of which I would never have had the knowledge to think of or even find. You just might, too.