So I have had an interesting couple of months connecting with former friends/boyfriends/girlfriends.  It's not something I set out to do at all... and I'm not 100% clear on why this is showing up in my life right now... but out of NOWHERE I've had at least 5 former friends/lovers contact me on facebook or just randomly show up in my life. 

Sometimes this has been hard.  It has made me wonder if somehow I should have accomplished more by this point in my life.  Did I miss my calling?  Should I have more financial success than I have?  Am I still as attractive today as I felt back then?  Have I measured up?

And it's also been interesting because I've gathered so many insights about things I was oblivious to.  A dear friend from high school confessed he was madly in love with me back then.  Wow...I had no idea.  Another boyfriend from early high school went on and on about our connections, but his memories about some of the more "poignant" moments are drastically different from mine. What memories, of any of them, are real?  How many misperceptions of my own do I still carry?

The last encounter was probably the most rattling for me.  I ran into  a woman that I was madly madly madly in love with 10 years ago.  (yes, I did date women at one point in my life).  I've half-jokingly said that Greg was my 7 year rebound relationship after Trish, but it really isn't that far from the truth.  I was SMITTEN, beyond anything... and I was devastated when she left. 

So this week I was sitting in my favorite coffee shop, when a new employee walks in.  When she turns around, I realize that it's HER.  The woman that I had wanted to spend my entire life with.  And there she is...10 years later, standing in front of me, serving coffee just like she always had (she had worked at Starbucks when I dated her).

Needlesstosay, it was a strange and fascinating moment.  We've both obviously changed physically.  It's  been 10 years, after-all, and neither of us are in our 20's anymore.  I think we both stood there gaping at each other in shock.  I can't really speak for her, but I think it is fair to say that it was a trippy moment for both of us.

I've seen her a few times this week.  And it has been an interesting journey to catch up and see what's happened.   It has also been profoundly striking to see where we both are, what we've done, and what we haven't done with our lives.  THIS insight has probably been the best gift I could have received.  I don't miss her anymore, and I don't have those crazy mad feelings either.  In fact, I'm so incredibly grateful that she left me, because it was her departure, more than her presence, that helped me evolve and grow.  It was the loss of that relationship that eventually helped me realize that I'm ok without her.  And that ultimately, I'm ok without anyone...that I'm ok, period. 

What I realized after she left was that I had truly done good work in that relationship.  That I was honest and sincere, but she simply didn't love me...and that I really didn't want to be with anyone that didn't love me.  And I also learned that I didn't need a partner to be ok.  That I was ok alone. 

It took me a long time to learn those lessons.  By the time I had woken up from the shock of Trish leaving, I was already involved with Greg and well on my way to being a mother.  I think it took me a whole year to say her name without crying.  But I survived it.  (I feel a Gloria Gaynor Karaoke moment coming on here--bwahahahahaha).

So at this point in my life, I'm incredibly grateful to see what has transpired over the last 10 years.  And seeing Trish again has made the lessons poignantly clear.  I am 1000 times better, smarter, more centered, more confident, more driven, and more passionate than I was 10 years ago.  And, in part, I am who I am today precisely because Trish didn't stick around. 

It's hard to believe that today I am so grateful to her for leaving when I wasn't even sure in the moment I could survive without her.  It's the best ironic twist of fate I have experienced in my lifetime.  But the good news (hell..the great news!) is that I have realized how much I really have accomplished in 10 years.  Sure, I'm not the richest person living in the biggest house.  But I have a really strong handle on WHO I AM, WHY I AM HERE, WHAT I AM DOING, and WHY I AM DOING IT.   I have come so far from where I was.  And I have accomplished more than I knew was even possible.  I am only getting better...every day.

So thank you...to all the former friends and lovers I have had.  It is through those relationships and experiences...each and every one of them, good & bad...that I have become who I am today. 

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There are more than 11 million single moms in the U.S. That's a large presence for any one group to have. Yet what I notice is that as a group, or tribe, this group is NOT owning its power or presence or greatness. We're not taking control of our lives, our future and our success.

We have been taught, I believe, to "survive" as single moms. We've been taught it has to be hard. We have to do it on our own. We have to struggle. We will most likely screw up our kids. We can't have it all.

I disagree. I strongly disagree.

I think its time for a Single Mom Revolution! A paradigm shift in how single moms think, act and believe about themselves individually and as a group. I think its time for single moms to band together and own our greatness. Its time to create a new belief system, a new way of looking at singlemom-dom.

What would happen if we believed:

• Its easy(er) to be a single mom.
• We get to do it on our own. We can choose to find someone wonderful to do it with, it we want to.
• We can thrive, create abundance and live lives of greatness.
• Our kids are future rocks star (presidents, radio show hosts, business owners and humanitarians) and because we're their moms, they will turn out to be unstoppable and fantastic.
• We can have, do, be and create whatever our hearts desire. No shit, no kidding.

Its a new day and its time to play a bigger game, ladies! Its time for you to own how fantastic you are ~ you've made a person (or people), so your body is amazing. You keep food on the table and the lights on ~ therefore, you are a terrific multi-tasker. You laugh at yourself, even when the chips are down ~ therefore I know there's a rockin' sense of humor in there. You are so full of amazingness and possibility, just what are you going to do with it?

Stop commiserating about how bad it is, and start collaborating with one another. Many hands make light work! Together, we can do anything! Stop playing small and asking for "just enough to get by" and start asking for what you really, truly, deep down in your bones want.

Right now. Start asking right now (even if you think nobody is even listening. They are, but that's another post). Get a journal and start writing (I'll get back to you on this soonest).

Check back often, because there's a Single Mom Revolution starting right here and right now. I'm going to be leading it, with a group of successful single moms, and together we're going to give you all of the tools, ideas, strategies and hope you need to make it happen. Get ready! Here we go ...

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Memorial Day Weekend turned into a nice little weekend for my little family.  As you may already know, I have two teen aged boys.  Being a single mom (even with a live in boyfriend) it can be rather expensive to  do many things that are fun and educational.  For 4 people, even the "low cost" activities can get out of hand.  So I'm always trying to find something to do that is fun, educational AND free!   GeoCaching happens to be one of the few things that we can do together that fits all three criteria, AND even my teens love doing it!

What is GeoCaching?  You can find out more about it on the GeoCaching website.  Although the activitie and website itself is free (you can upgrade your account for a nominal monthly or yearly fee for more features), you do have to have a GPS to participate. Once you have an account on GeoCaching.com and a GPS device, then  you can start caching.

 It's like a treasure or scavenger hunt that the entire world participates in.  You go to the GeoCaching website, search for caches by zip code, download a list of the caches into your GPS device, and then off you go hunting.  You can do this for whatever area you are in, whether it's local or in another city or state... there are even GeoCaches in other countries!  So where ever you are, where ever you go, you can go GeoCaching.  This makes for a great way to get to know an area in ways that most travel guides or tours don't give you.

Each Cache is a little different.  Some are "Micro-Caches", which are generally little pill bottles, film canisters, or other small containers, with a "log book" (which is just a long peice of lined paper rolled up) for you put your user name and date on.  Others can be as large as an ammo can or tupperware container.  The large containers will have "trade items" in them.  These are little items that you can take for yourself, but you have to leave an item in it's place. There are "Multi-Cahces" which are like little clues leading you from one cahce to the next.  These can be easy or very difficult depending on the person who set the Multi-Cache up.

The "Trade Items" are really what my sons love the most about GeoCaching.  Even though they generally keep the item just long enough to trade it in another cache, it's still like burried treasure for them.  The type of items left in the cache depend on the cache itself.  There are some caches that have a "theme", such as one we searched for was all about aliens, so the items inside the container were all aliens or alien themed.   Another cache we searched for had a theme of wilderness survival.  It was a "memorial" cache for a young hiker who had gotten lost and died near that spot.  The person who set up the cache did it to remind people to be careful and prepared when they go hiking.  Inside the cahce were items such as a rain poncho, compass, a small poket knife, and other small survival items.  It was a great conversation starter with the boys for sure!

On Monday, the boys, Steve and I all went out GeoCaching around our neighborhood.  It was a nice day to do it too!  We set out to find the nearest one to our house, which was at a local  park which is right by our house.  The next one we went to was by a man made lake, which I didn't know was so close to our house!  It was in a beautiful neighborhood, but unfortunately we couldn't find the cache itself... but we did find a great place to go when we want to cool off and feed the ducks.  There was even a family of baby ducks there!  

The next one we went to was in a park behind our local library.  A part of the park that we hadn't been to before.  It was a good one that was difficult to find, but my youngest son found it which made him feel really good because of how well hidden it had been.  Another nice thing about GeoCaching is that it gives kids an incentive to think logically and outside of themselves to find something someone else hid.  It's great exercise for the brain for sure!

This is one of my favorite outdoor activities to do with my sons.  We will usually take a picnic, plan out where we're going to go, and then just travel from one cache to the next for the better part of the day.  We've gone hiking in the mountains looking for caches, and just jumping out the car in a mall parking lot.  They are all fun for all ages!

 Once you've found a few caches, you might also like creating one with your kids too.  Get them thinking of a great place to hide it, figuring out either someplace that no one knows about that you all love to go to, or someplace that will have an interesting theme to it.  Then pick out the size of the cache, micro, small, medium, or large and then the items for trading, if any.  No matter what age your kids are, they'll have fun creating this little treasure hunt that will last a long time.  Then once you've placed your cache you can watch all the people who have found it through the GeoCaching website.

I hope you'll try it out and have fun!

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It's seriously been a whirlwind month for me and my family!  I hardly know where to begin, except to say that PERSPECTIVE is everything!  As I'm sitting here reflecting on the journey I have been on, I'm incredibly grateful that I have managed to cultivate the skill and art of taking a breath and being present...for if I hadn't been able to do that I very well could have gone off the deep end.  LOL...but the good news is that I didn't lose it (even though there were a few moments that I thought I might), and I'm skating through to the other side as a better version of myself.

To sum it all up, in the last week I moved, my car died (as in forever), and I landed myself in the Urgent Care with a pretty severe bout with bronchitis/asthma....all of which took place while I was PMSing and just days before my trip to New Jersey with Sierra.  Whew. 

Needlesstosay, it's been an INTENSE week. 

Luckily, my trip to New Jersey was a 2.5 day Network Chiropractic Transformational Gate (um...yeah, hard to explain...you might want to google it..LOL).  Basically, it was a healing retreat!!  Exactly!!

I had made the committment to go to this event a few months ago when I was gifted extra money from the Universe (yeah, weird refund thing showed up in the mail).  My daughter had responded so well to Network Chiropractic care that I called the organizers on her behalf and managed to talk them into helping us get there by giving her a scholarship.  I also had a really amazing roommate that helped split the costs of the room/rental car. 

Sierra and I left on a red-eye Thursday night.  The weekend was being held in Parsippany, NJ.  My original plan was to beg the hotel for an early check-in and to spend the day by the pool, but upon further investigation of where were were going I discovered that we were only going to be minutes from the NJ Ferry to the Statue of Liberty. 

So Sierra and I landed in Newark at 6:00am, got the rental car, found a place for breakfast, and headed straight to Liberty  Park, arriving about an hour before our 9:00 tickets on the ferry.  And because we got there early, we were able to snag monument passes, which meant we were allowed to go inside Lady Liberty.  We did not get to go up to her crown because they have recently been finishing the new stairs which will open on July 4th.

Sierra, Tristan, and I have National Park Passport books, which are really fun.  Every time we visit a National Historic Site or Park we get a cancellation stamp with the date and the name of the place we visited.  So for this trip, Sierra and I got 2 new cancellations.  One for Ellis Island, and one for the Statue of Liberty.  It's always a good day when you get another stamp in your passport book!!

Sierra and I took the audio tours and really enjoyed the journey.  She was a bundle of energy until we hit the car that afternoon, and then she promptly passed out on her way to pick up Kate from the airport.

The rest of the weekend was also fabulous.  Sierra and I both received 6 entrainments as well as meeting many of the 400+ attendees.  There were a lot of other kids and Sierra had a fabulous time hanging out with them between her sessions.  Truly, Sierra just blossomed in the space.  She really was herself x10 and it was really beautiful to witness.  The end of the event is celebrated with an "Angel Wash" which is a really lovely way that everyone is able to support and give love to each other....and Sierra stood at the end of the room and literally gave hugs to every single person there.  Her heart was so BIG!  And I was a proud mom!!

For myself, the energy work was intense and I ended needing to sleep between sessions.  I don't really know how to explain Network Spinal Analysis, but it has really been an effective way for me to "connect" with my higher self/power....which was exactly what I needed after the intensity of the week before.  Additionally, with all the healing treatments I was able to reduce the amount of nebulizing I was having to do for the asthma.  Bonus!

I had arranged for my friends to take Tristan for the weekend, but his dad intervened and kept Tristan with him instead.  I'm never very happy about that because it's damn near impossible for Tristan's dad to stay sober for 4 whole days in a row, but the universe protected my kid through the weekend and I picked him up safe and sound on Monday after I got home.

 And to top it off, when I arrived home, there was a "new" car that my dad gave me so that I'm not completely stranded.   Blessings!!! 

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Single moms really seem to take a hit (regularly) for being, well, single moms. I'm on a mission to see that changed ~ and the sooner the better.

There is an unspoken opinion or two not in our favor. There must have been a bad decision to make us single moms. Better yet, we must be bad or we wouldn't be single moms in the first place.

I think single moms ROCK. I think we work harder than anyone else on the planet. I think we should be looked at with awe and wonder. Such as, "We are in awe as to how single moms get it all done and do it with seeming grace and ease." or "We wonder how she does it." Even better, "How can we help?"

If being a mom is the hardest job in the world, how on Earth do we classify "single mom?"

There are a select few who decide their circumstances will support being a single mom and they go for it. The remainder usually wake up one day and are surprised that all of their life decisions have gotten them to this point. I see these women, on a daily basis, finding humor in the little things and putting one foot in front of the other so they can, indeed, get it all done.

Why am I so fired up? Because now that I'm remarried (thus, no longer technically a single mom) there are comments I hear about single moms. I won't repeat them, but they have lead me to believe there needs to be a shift in the consciousness and perception regarding single moms.

I'm going to lead this change and I need your help! Let us band together and lift each other up, one day and one step at a time.

Are you in? Kindly post your support!

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