Those were Lexi's words to me a few days ago. I almost fell over! In our house, we use the term "bonus dad" inspired by Will Smith's wife, Jada Pinkett Smith. I've always hated the term "step-mom or -dad." The connotation isn't positive in my mind ~ I guess I watched Cinderella too many times as a kid.

Lexi's biological dad doesn't have contact with her and hasn't for quite some time. Her only true dad figure has been her bonus dad for the past year and a half. When I asked her why she wants to call him dad, she said, "Because I feel like it now." Who knows what's really going on in her mind and heart. While Big B can never replace her "other dad" as she calls him, he has certainly done something right. I'm happy that she's happy and feels safe and loved.

I didn't put any pressure on Lexi, I just let things evolve naturally and let her take the lead. I introduced them when I was pretty sure I knew he would play a significant, long-term role in my life. Kids are pretty quick and intuitive, and mine is no different. She liked him right away and said so. I'm so blessed to have the two people I love the most love each other.

What words of wisdom do you have to your fellow single moms about how to handle this most delicate of situations?

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As I said in my Single Mom's Motivational Minute #12, there's safety in numbers. Meaning, the more kids you have around, the easier it is! 

I won't dispute that this weekend I had to make three times the pancakes, brownies and pizza, but it was genuinely fun. Fun to hear the laughing and giggling, fun to take the kids out for frozen yogurt, fun to help Lexi learn to ride her bike with the other kids cheering her on.

I made the mistake of keeping the 1:1 ratio for too long! I learned something valuable this weekend, and that's that the more the merrier! The more kids you can round up, the more fun it is.

I also found out I can get things done because they entertain themselves. Don't get me wrong, this isn't day 1 of me letting Lexi play with other kids. She's had plenty of sleepovers, just always with one other kid (save for the slumber party of a few months ago). This weekend our friends asked us to take Kelsey (Lexi's BFF) and Jared (the little brother). So we did. I was a little concerned that Jared would get left out or feel like odd-man-out, but that never happened. The other kids in the neighborhood hopped on their bikes and everyone played together. It was great.

Its worth saying again (I think anyway), that you would be well served to make friends with other moms and single moms and work together. The kids have fun and so do the moms. 

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My first two days (ok, YEARS) as a single mom were filled with doubt, fear, anxiety and buckets of tears. I didn't talk much about it, being a personal and business coach, as well as a motivational speaker and all. I kept it to myself, and the head noise got quite loud.

Eventually I realized what I was doing wasn't working ~ and, as a coach I was giving people advice I wasn't taking myself. When I started coaching myself, that's when things really started to turn around.

I created a million dollar business, wrote a book, and even bought a house in a country club. All as a single mom.

I noticed, however, that society doesn't view the single mom as a heroine, she's viewed as a victim. When described, we hear, "Awww, she's a single mom. That's too bad. Be sure not to hire her, because her kid might get sick. Don't date her, she just wants a new baby-daddy. Stear clear. And while we're at it, let's blame her for the problems of the world."

Whoa.

In my mind, I felt those were all the wrong assumptions. Who's more capable than a single mom? Who's better at time management? I'll tell you what, I'd take a single mom as my wing-woman any time!

As a matter of fact, I have one. She's helping me to lead the Single Mom Revolution. We're on a mission to change the way single moms see themselves, and the way the world sees them. You may know her as Modern Single Momma, and now she's Modern Married Momma. She's Morgan Day Cecil and she's fabulous! See what she has to say about our Revolution here.

We have lots of plans for single moms ~ we want them happy and successful and wealthy and healthy ~ right now! Tomorrow (6/23, 10 am PT/1 pm ET) we're launching The Single Mom Revolution Radio Show. We're having powerful, successsful single moms (and former single moms) on the show and we're committed to change, to empowering, enlightening, inspiring, motivating and transforming you, our fellow single mom. Our first guest is Ms. Single Mama, Alaina Sheer. She's just amazing and we're going to talk to her about her single-mom-fabulousness and what's coming up for her.

There's 11 million of us, and we're a force to be reckoned with. Are you in?

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I feel amazing this morning! Why? Because the first two things I did were drink a big glass of water and go for a walk. I do some type of exercise every morning ... not because I actually love exercise (I mean, seriously!) but because I love how I feel for the whole rest of the day. It raises my vibration. It give me quality time with myself to focus on my goals, listen to inspiring podcasts, radio show or speakers like Tony Robbins, Zig Ziglar, Brian Tracy or Rich Fenton & Andrew Waltz (the GoforNo! folks). It sets the tone for the rest of my day. On the days I do it, I definitely have more energy later in the day (and I need it, what with homework, making dinner and a variety of other projects on my plate).

When my daughter was too young for me to leave her alone, I put her in the stroller and off we went. She wore a cute sun hat and sunglasses and really enjoyed the trip. Eventually I got a treadmill so I could do it really early in the morning. I also joined a gym that had childcare from 6 am-9 pm. You could find a mom to trade off with, or even go with you. 

This is a cheap-to-free way to make yourself feel better, even if you only have 10-15 minutes. So get to movin', single moms! You'll be so glad you did.

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Here are two recipes from the upcoming The Successful Single Mom Cooks that my family loves and they keep requesting. They go together and I make them simultaneously. (All of the recipes in the book are 7 ingredients or less, very simple, on the table within 20 minutes, healthy & yummy!) Enjoy!!

Not-so-Sloppy Sloppy Joes

You can serve these warm at home, then let them cool and send them to school!

Ingredients
1 lb. lean ground turkey
1 pkg. McCormick Sloppy Joe Mix
1 6 oz. can tomato paste
1 ¼ cups water

Directions
1.    Brown ground turkey in large skillet on medium heat. Drain fat.
2.    Stir in seasoning mix, tomato paste and water.
3.    Bring contents to a boil, reduce heat and simmer 10 minutes. Stir occasionally.

Number of Servings: 8

10 Minute Baked Beans

So quick and yet so delicious!

Ingredients
1 15 oz. can no-salt-added kidney or pinto beans, drained
3 tbsp brown sugar
2 tbsp onion flakes
¼ cup BBQ sauce

Directions
1.    In a medium saucepan, combine all ingredients.
2.    Bring to boil, cover, reduce heat and cook 5 minutes.
3.    Uncover and cook additional 5 minutes.
4.    Eat!

Number of Servings: 4
 

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