Hello, single moms!

I recently weathered a challenge with, you guessed it, my daughter's father. He was really creating some challenges around here for a couple of weeks and for about half a minute I got upset. Then I realized the situation would play out the way all previous challenging situations would play out, and I got back to business as usual.

I think that was the lesson I needed to learn: challenges come and go ... don't get so upset about them!

Looking at the bookcase in my office, I have 19 signed copies of The Successful Single Mom book that I'm ready to give away.

For a chance at your free copy (I'll even mail it to you, no charge), write a comment about a challenge you survived and have come through with flying colors - and what the lesson was for you.

I'll be announcing the winners on Monday, March 1st, so please submit your entries by Sunday, February 28th at 8 p.m. Eastern.

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I recently devoured the book Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert. I wouldn't have read it, except that I truly and thoroughly enjoyed her book Eat, Pray, Love a couple of years ago and have been anxiously awaiting any thing else she would write (Elizabeth, I hope you're writing more!).

Being happily (re-)married for over a year and a half now,  I've "discovered" a few things about self-love, dating, and becoming committed to someone once again (most of it in hindsight, hopefully helpful to you, dearest single mom).

First, the more I worked on myself and grew as a person, a mom, a business woman, and a friend, the less attached I was to finding a new partner. However, because I spent so much time working on myself, I have attracted a man (not a boy, ahem) who treats me and my daughter with love, respect and such deep caring it is sometimes hard to fathom. My only regret is that I didn't start that process sooner, instead of wasting so many precious evenings, hours, and days on this or that guy.

Second, and because of the aforementioned work, dating became intentional without attachment. I knew what I wanted, but wasn't thinking or hoping or intending that the next date would be my last first date. I found it better, for me, to be in a state of curiosity about the person with whom I was sharing a meal, learning about him, instead of wondering if he was "the one."

Finally, commitment of this magnitude to me represents two rings that operate independent of one another, yet the shared space is chosen ... because sometimes life is too bad to be alone, and sometimes its just too good to be alone! I chose an interdependent relationship, rather than a co-dependent or just plain dependent one (this time), and it is working out beautifully.

It is important to note that Ms. Gilbert put far more thought into her remarriage than I did to mine. If I were still a single mom, I would have read her book and learned many helpful things ... you might, too. I would, thankfully, have ended up in the same space.

Hopefully you are out in the world, dancing joyfully, mothering with peace and love and fun, all while working on yourself. If you would, add to that the sense of knowing that the right and perfect partner will come along at the right and perfect time. Until then, enjoy yourself and enjoy the journey.

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