I wrote a bit about my vacation and although it was wonderful, it is so great to be home! After a good night's sleep, I woke up ready to get ready to take on the world. :)
I got on the scale this morning and let's just say I brought home more than a few souvenirs! I am also apparently still in possession of bread and butter, Froz Fruit bars, fried conch fritters, peanut M&Ms, and pineapple and key lime sanchwiches.
Here's the truth: the first week of my vacation I ate anything and everything I wanted to eat. I sat by the beach and the pool and didn't work out. The second week, I worked out three days straight (while still eating and definitely not the way I normally eat) ... and then my daughter got the mother of all ear infections. This led to 48 hours of no sleep and certainly no exercise (but I didn't stop eating!). I did a hard workout yesterday before flying home. I did manage to have a white chocolate mocha from Starbucks, a Pizza Hut personal pan pizza and when they offered me chocolate ice cream after dinner on the plane, I said yes and enjoyed every bite. Thus my fun interaction with my scale this morning.
What do you do when you've gotten "off track?" I've had the tendency in the past to get frustrated and beat myself up. As we all know, neither of these is a strategy for getting what I (or you) want. So this morning, as I stared down at what I consider a really high number (considering I am not "with child"), I decided to press my mental reset button and take action that will serve me.
That's my "story" and at every step along the way I chose my actions (or lack of action). Now I'm choosing to do what I know will get me what I want.
When you find yourself frustrated with your current results, say this: "It is what it is." Then ask yourself, "What do I want it to be?" and finally, "What do I have to commit to doing so it can be the way I want it to be?"
It doesn't really matter what it looks like today, because you can use your mind's eye to visualize what you want your tomorrows to be like and then get moving in that direction. One day at a time.
I write this blog from my current favorite vacation spot in the Bahamas: the front porch of our beach house, which has an oceanview.
It occurred to me that the one thing I didn't do enough as a single mom was rest. There always seemed to be so much to do and not enough hours to do them.
One day I tired of being tired and started resting on purpose. I scheduled Sundays as "do nothing" time, Saturday as "no work but have fun time" and a couple of evenings a week I turned in early. Even if there were loads of laundry left undone, or I hadn't swept the floor that day. Miraculously, those items were waiting for me when I looked for them again. 
Five years ago I created a vision of the life I wanted to be living today, which includes 2 two-week vacations (August and December) so I could really rest. In my mind, part of being a successful single mom (or a successful mom, or a successful person) is having time to not think, not move and not doing anything you don't want to do for a decent period of time). This vacation is my very first two week vacation ever. I have no schedule and my biggest concern is what I'm eating for my next meal. I kept a hectic and extremely tiring pace in the weeks leading up to leaving ... and the only reason I wasn't homicidal is because I knew I would have days upon days of having nothing to do.
But you're working, I hear you saying, you're on the computer. Well, my work is also my play, and my heart is with all 11 million single moms who are doing their best right now. I want the same extended period of rest for you that I'm finally enjoying myself. My suggestion is that you create a vision of how you'd like it to be and then work toward that vision. Even if it takes you five years.
You can do it.
Morgan and I have done a half-dozen shows. We're clearly not professional radio show hosts, just two (former) single mom gals who have a heart-based desire to help our fellow single moms.
In case you're here for the first time, you didn't know we had a radio show or you are not sure where to find it, go here: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/singlemomrevolution. Listen and pass it on. We're doing this for YOU!
To you!
I'm on my way here in just a few hours (Harbour Island, The Bahamas). I'm taking my first two-week vacation ever, and I'm so excited! Its also my one-year wedding anniversary today. There simply a lot to be thankful for and I am definitely (beyond!) thankful.
I met a woman a few days ago who said, "You wrote this book, but you're married. How did you come to write the book?" During the course of the conversation, she all but told me I was probably very unrelatable to the average single mom, and then asked me how I got from "there" to "here."
I'll address the first point first (makes sense, yes?) First, I was a single mom for more than six years. A sometimes optimistic, sometimes angry and sad single mom. I believe I have experienced just about every challenge my fellow single moms have experienced. I can relate to you just as easily as you can relate to me. Second, I'm now a successful remarried mom. Those two things I think pre-qualify me.
How I got from there to here could and will be multiple posts. I'll start where I started: with a decision. I made the decision to not settle for anything, ever again. I decided to raise my standards and upgrade my expectations ~ in every area of my life.
There were several opportunities I had to marry a great guy, take a job in lieu of growing my business, stay in a home I liked but didn't love ... and each time I challenged myself to (a) say out loud what I really wanted and (b) go for each and every one of them, no matter how rocky the road.
Because I'm a coach, I don't want to just share my journey with you, I want you to experience your own best life!! Here are some questions to help you get started:
1. Where do you have 'pain' (emotional, spiritual, financial, in relationships, physical and professional) in your life?
2. Where do you know you're not living up to your potential and what's possible for you?
3. Decide right now you're no longer willing to settle for, and what you're going to strive to achieve ~ no matter what. Write those things down.
Shining a light on the dark areas of your life is quite possibly the most courageous thing you may ever do. Remember that you will survive it and you will thrive because of it.
To you!
So it seems to me that single moms are coming out of the woodwork... or maybe I'm just seeing it more? Although I've been a single mom for over 12 years now, it seems it's just been this year that single moms are everywhere. Maybe it's because I don't feel as if that is some sort of affliction anymore. Maybe it's because of Honoree and her book that I feel that I'm not so alone. Whatever the reason, I'm feeling the strength of single moms growing!
Part of my awareness is also about this site, the book, and the radio show. I keep thinking of these various single moms that either need to read Honoree's book or be interviewed on her radio show. Like poor Kate Goslin (from Jon & Kate plus 8.... minus one now), she needs Honoree's book like no body's business! She's about to embark on single motherhood with 8 kids and a million paparazi and billions of TV viewers. There's no better example of someone who needs Honoree's help through this period in her life!
Then there's Mary Pols, author of the book "Accidentally On Purpose: The True Tale of a Happy Single Mother" which is being made into a sitcom this fall. I got the chance to preview the sitcom and review it (which will be posted on my personal blog in the next day or two) and I just loved it! Mary Pols would be a perfect guest on Single Mom Revolution Radio! She's funny, interesting, and has traversed through this single mommyhood in a unique way.
Whatever the situation that brought us to this point in our lives, by accident or by circumstances, what I see more than anything else, is that we are not alone! There is someone else who is going through or has gone through what you are going through. That's what this community is about too. To come together and give each other encouragment and support and to show you that you are not alone! That one thing has made me feel so good, so strong in my life, to know that I'm NOT alone!
Blog
